(Cut to a coffee shop scene: Two men are sitting in the shop, slowing drinking coffee. One is taller then the other, with a bad hair cut... lets call him J. The other is short, fat, and bald, lets call him G. They're staring at a TV across the room and talking to themselves.)

J- Well, what a season...
G- Yep.
J- Gotta say, there's never was anything like it...
G- Yep.
J- What do ya think Eldo's gonna talk about at the ceremony?
G- Nothing.
J- Nothing?
G- Yep
J- Hrm... a show about nothing... naa... it'd never work.
G- Shhh... its starting....

They both pay deeper attention to the TV across the room...

And noooooow... live.... from the deepest, darkest corner of Ontario, Canada..... welcome to the

Fourth Seasonal Awards

And now your host for this evening, who had a well documented addiction to Must-See TV, El-Doooooooooooraadoooooo

The Obligatory Opening Monologue
Ok, this is a public appeal for help. If anyone, ANYONE, has seen Zeek-Dragon at all in the last 3 months, tell us. Zeek, I know you're out there. Call us. Please. :)

Hrm, what to say about this season in the SGWL. Its been.... quiet. While the rest of the known world (except for a few small islands in Oceania) has been playing Starcraft, a few, devout zealots have soldiered on, maintaining that Warcraft 2 is the one, true game. Their cries of "HERESY!!!" ring through the night. Today, I would like to dedicate this awards ceremony to those zealots... the few... the proud... the addicted.

The future is bright, though, for these zealots. zot, our favourite benevolent dictator, has moved on to the realms of Starcraft, and a new benevolent dictator has taken over the SGWL (although, with a name like Stalin, I'm not exactly sure how benevolent he'll be :)

While I'm at it, and before you lose interest in this speech and go on down to the mess of statistics below, I'd like to thank the staff once again, like I do every year. Stalin, 49er, and the other refs did a great job this season, keeping the peace. Also, the dynamic duo of MugWump and Ohwrd once again put up with a lot of crap, but they managed to get us our own domain, AND get us a whole new interface. Lastly, zot, we all thank you for making a great league. The makers of Tylenol Extra Strength also thank you :)

Whew, now that thats done, lets get on with the show, shall we?

But first a word from our sponser... 
New, from the makers of the Chia Pet...

Its, Chia Ohwrd!!!

Just add water, and a little bit of fertilizer, and soon you'll have a pet with a beard you can hide small birds in!

Operators are standing by... order yours today.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming...
The Coolness Awards
Ok, these next few awards are for contributions to the league that don't have anything to do with Warcraft 2, but are still deserving of special recognition. In other words, they're kinda cool :)

Coolest New Clan Name

Discounting the very deserving clan names that ran over from the previous seasons, of course:

Coolest Clan Motto

The most memorable and original lines from the previous season:  
The Specialty Awards

The Generalist Awards

- or: the "it's a good thing you're in the SGWL" awards
Gotta love the generalists. You can always tell you're playing a generalist hunter because they always ask for some real odd combination, kpbayou default or rivers medium, for example. Dorks, the lot of ya :) j/k

The Pit Bull Awards

Hehe... gotta respect these guys. They're the most persistent players that this league can produce. They lose, and lose, and come back for more. The bull-headed award goes to:

The Warcraft Addict Awards

- sponsored once again by the Betty Ford clinic -

These award winners played more games this season than anyone else in the league. Sigh... I wish I had that much free time ;)

Most Valuable Players
These are the ones you wish you had in your clan. They remained loyal, kept playing, kept winning, and racked up more clan points by themselves than some entire clans had put together. Presenting the one-man-armies of the SGWL:

Division A

Division B

Division C

Divisional Champions
These awards are granted on the basis of the best seasonal score in each division.  These represent the the players with the best overall combination of earned points, win/loss ratio and generalist rating for each division:  hard-earned awards in every case.

Division A

Division B

Division C

Global Domination
They will fight on the seas and oceans...

And now we come to the stuff folks have been fighting for: in the battle for global domination these are the SGWL's 4th-season world powers:

Division A

Division B

And now to acknowledge the 4th-Season Warlords - the Great Ones of the SGWL: Honourable Mentions are also due to the others in the top 10:  
Most Improved Players
- or: the "Since when did they get good?" awards -

These prestigious awards are for the players who have improved the most according to their skill rating since the beginning of this season:

Sportsman of the Season
Did you ever know... that you're my hero....

The nice guy award :) The nominees are some of the nicest people on kali, and zot and the staff are proud to have them in this league. Note that activity really doesn't enter into this award, its the quality of the person, not the games.

Previous titleholders are not eligible for this award.

To even be nominated for an award like this is an incredible honour. Congratulations go out to the other nominees, listed here in no particular order: Again, congratulations to all the nominees.

G- Thats IT???? That can't be it!
J- God, that was sad...
G- Yep, he's slipping.
J- Sigh..
G- Told ya a show about nothing would never catch on
J- Heh, yep, I guess you're right.
G- We shouldn't be making fun a TV show that we didn't watch on our own TV.
J- Why not?
G- Faux pas...
J- Faux pas?
G- Major faux pas.
J- Damn.
G- One good thing though.
J- What?
G- At least he didn't sing.....